Why do we make things more complicated than they need to be?
We all do it, at least I have yet to meet someone who doesn’t.
A seemingly innocuous comment sends someone over the edge. Immense drama is created out of thin air. We have all seen similar situations.
In fact, I have witnessed (and even played a part in) events that have ended up blown out of proportion to the extent that life-long friendships are ruined, families are torn apart, even jobs lost.
Someone makes a comment that rubs you the wrong way or an argument ensues after a misunderstanding. The anger and resentment that follow can last a lifetime for some people. If we perceive that someone has wronged us, it can last forever. Forgiveness becomes an insurmountable obstacle, and for some reason we hold on to the anger, unable to release it even if release is the one thing we so desperately need.
It all stems from perception. How we interpret an event, a comment or a situation dictates the emotions that follow. This becomes immensely more powerful when the two parties are at differing ends of the proverbial spectrum.
Person A and Person B have a disagreement, anger and frustration ensue soon after. They are on completely opposite sides, both of them are right and the other wrong. This usually will lead to gossip, which brings about a whole new set of drama-esque circumstances that fortify the person’s stance. The more people the person shares their story with, the further cemented they become that they are indeed right, and the other person is the one who must apologize.
Who is right? Who is wrong?
“Surely, I am right” screams person A.
“Not a chance” replies person B “You’re an idiot!”
So who really is right? Does it even matter? Do the “facts” even play a role anymore? And if they do, what purpose do they serve?
Sometimes you need to decide if it means more to you to be right, then it does to have the other person in your life.
If you choose to be right, what do you really have? Can you take “right” home with you? Can you hang it up like a trophy on the wall that you can stare at?
Then what do you get out of being right? A small sense of satisfaction that you put them in their place? An ego boost? Self-satisfaction that you are “better” than them?
Is any of that worth losing someone you care about?
I don’t know why my brain needs to be right all the time, my ego can be a powerful foe. What I do know is that ego satisfaction is extremely temporary and fleeting at best.
Many a sage as reiterated the same sentiment; “Would rather be right, or would you rather be happy?”
I choose happiness, the rest isn’t worth the effort.